When I hear others say: "You should start doing yoga", "She should really stop seeing him", "You should accept that job offer" – or say to themselves: “I should pick a salad for lunch”, “I should call my mom more often” – I always want to ask “says WHO!?”
Although these types of statements might be rooted in good intentions, the “should’ing” creates a strong undercurrent of “else, you’re not doing the right thing” or “else, you are not good enough”. If you’re not calling your mom very often, you’re a bad son/daughter. If you pick a sandwich rather than the salad for lunch you lack discipline. If you don’t take that job, you are missing an opportunity. So, I have banned the word “should” from my vocabulary (except when I go on a rant about why I have banned it ;), like now…). Instead I choose very deliberately what to replace it with. There are so many other options! It takes a little reflection to get clarity about how to replace the “should”. I usually ask myself some variation of these questions: “In what way does this matter to me?”, “How committed am I?” Then I pick a more empowering and precise word like: “want”, “might”, “will”, “can”, and even “need to” or “must”.
What does “success” mean anyway?
I don’t mean a dictionary definition but what does it mean to YOU? The more obvious examples of success are the big “splashy” public accomplishments - something of significance that “the world” notices. Perhaps an on-time, well received significant launch or project. Maybe “meeting the numbers” for an important time-period or milestone. Other examples are more personal; like completing a course or get a new certification, or maybe throwing a really fun 50th disco birthday party! (yes, I just had one of those :). Most people would agree those can all be scenarios worthy of being described as successful. But what about the more subtle, step-by-step successes along the way, each of the smaller achievements that lead up to this larger success... To what extent are you consciously considering this progress along the way as success? In our high intensity work environments and “speedy” society we tend to skip by the moment of really feeling success. Even for larger accomplishments we tend to just “check it off” as done and keep moving on to the next to-do or project, and the next… and the next... My hope with my writing today is to inspire you to define and celebrate success not only for your larger goals but also for the steps that lead toward an ultimate goal. I don’t want you necessarily to be considered successful. I want for you to find ways to feel success - on a daily basis from the get-go of moving toward a larger goal. Sound good? To get going, please think of a significant goal that you’d like to accomplish within three years from today. Yes, right now :). Prepare by defining the following:
Daily, as you complete a step, take a moment to acknowledge to yourself that you are now closer to your goal by “that much”. You know what you want and you are DOING something to make it happen! You are on track. Yaay! Time well invested toward a goal that is important to YOU. On days when you don’t complete “a step”, or don’t feel very successful around your action, give yourself a break - breathe, pause - and then consider what you are learning. You might want to adjust the size of the action steps. You might realize that there was preparation that had to happen before another action could be completed. Great! You can now apply what you learned to the next “next step”. As your list of to-do's empties out, keep flushing out the next set of 5-10 to-do’s – leveraging what you have learned so far and keeping you in action every day. To finish off, I’d like to share a quote: “The way you live your day, is the way you end up living your life. Choose carefully.” Well, actually… I was the one that said that – and you can quote me if you want :D I wish you MUCH success, however you personally define it! |
AuthorAs a Holistic Time Management coach Ulrika reflects on ways to live our every day on purpose - with agility. Archives
June 2018
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